Ahh, pregnancy: that little glow you feel when you see the
positive line on the pregnancy test; those flutters when you have your first
prenatal; those nights you lay awake day dreaming about holding that little
one!
Cue reality.
The ‘glow’ you’re feeling is most likely heartburn. The
‘flutters’ are really a bout with nausea and you’re losing. Those nights you’re
lying awake are because you have to keep going to the bathroom, and the only
thing you want to hold is your head because it aches.
So, that sounds awful, and it’s not great, but this is the
price set for me and my first trimester. Not bad when you think of the reward,
but it’s kind of hard to remember the reward for weeks on end.
And honestly, it hasn’t been like that every day. I’ve had some great days! These last three
are clouding the memories of the good days, but serves me right for choosing to
post on a bad day.
Oh yeah… I’m pregnant. Surprise! I’m the better part of 11
weeks pregnant. I realized I needed to post something about this pregnancy when
at least three separate times I mentioned something about my pregnancy to
friends, and each one responded with, “Wait! You’re pregnant??” I dropped the
ball, but here I am picking it back up again.
I actually didn’t drop the ball, I threw it. I decided I was
too flipping tired to do anything like a post or announcement. Ridiculous, I
know.
But I’ll spare you the humdrum lowdown on my morning
sickness. Instead, I’ll focus on the comedy of it all – or what have you.
I grew up hearing about those funny pregnancy cravings. I
still think on I Love Lucy that the hot fudge sauce Lucy poured on her sardines
and ice cream looked like the best hot fudge I could ever taste. But instead of
strange food cravings, it has manifested itself more in the form of ‘food
tolerances’. Currently, most foods sound/smell abhorrent so eating is no longer
‘for funsies’ as it was during the very first few weeks of pregnancy (ahh…
those glorious days of old), so for me to be able to think fondly of any food
ultimately interprets to a run to the store and an armful of said desirables.
So… here are my “food cravings:”
- -
cold, super
duper, as-sour-as-you-can-get green granny smith apples. I basically
want to be stunned for a split second by tart overload.
- -
carbonated lime water
- -
cheese puffs (no surprises here… it’s always a
craving of mine) but I rarely indulge :(
- -
smoked salmonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
- -
tater tots
- -
applesauce
- -
unripe watermelon
Nothing too weird, really. Now let's talk about food intolerances...
My "food hates:"
- sugary sweetness that is not chocolate- garlic anything, anywhere, I can taste it in its faintest proportions...
- most meat, almost all beef especially (except for my aunt's brisket)
- green vegetables... I hate you, green food... except you, Apples...you're the only one who understands me.
- onions (obviously)
- cheese that has not been melted
- and anything that smells weird when cooked, has a powerful odor or taste, has a weird consistency
I have been recording little video snippets of life
according to me for the last 4 or 5 weeks. They will eventually be on my youtube channel. On
further reflection, they’re quick little whine segments. So be warned.
The fatigue got to me in the early weeks of morning sickness.
There were days where it was a debate between bathing and eating. There were
times when going to the bathroom merited taking another nap. There were moments
when I had every intention of ‘doing something’ and wound up asleep on the
couch. If I didn’t have sense enough I’d be very angry and disappointed in
myself, but I know that’s only going to make matters worse.
I had a very memorable time at Food Lion a few weeks back.
This was my first time shopping alone since sickness started, and I thought I
was doing all right. Grabbing a bag of corn that said “very sweet” on it seemed
to tip me over the edge. I darted to the bathroom as quickly as I could, but I
didn’t puke. You know that moment right before the heave? That’s where it left
me for the remainder of my time out. I realized I was probably going to stay
like this for a while, so I looked around for some bag to take in case I was
wrong. On the way home I had a bag attached to the steering wheel so I didn’t
have to pull over should the need arise. It all ended happily, except still no
relief, but I will not be buying frozen corn for a loooooong time, and I give
it dirty looks when I pass it in the frozen vegetable section.
Also, *drum roll please* I am starting to show... faintly.
Well, in the words of Forrest Gump: "That's all I got to say about that."
