showers of blessings

Earlier this year, Fred's family blessed us tremendously with a surprise baby shower for our little Eva. At the time I was early into my second trimester (about 16 weeks) and we didn't know whether we were having a boy or girl. It's hard to imagine us having anything else but our little Eva, but there was that time of uncertainty.

We were so blessed by their thoughtful gifts, words of encouragement, and wonderful fellowship. Every single family member was present, which was another blessing! Helen had asked what we call our little one. I told her Fred and I call each other "big bear" and "little bear," so we call our little one "baby bear." She structured the whole shower around that theme, and it was the cutest thing! We had paw-print cupcakes, children's books about bears, teddy bears, honey bears... Fred's mom even made salmon for supper, which was included into the shower.


Everything was so lovely, and we had so much fun with all the games during and afterwards. One of the absolute softest teddy bears I've ever felt in my life were gifted to little Eva that day by Elizabeth. I'm certain Eva's going to love it!

We always have such a great time with Fred's family when we visit, and I'm so thankful we will be seeing them for Thanksgiving. To all of you Bowmans: thank you for all the gifts and love you have shown us and our little one. We love you all. I can't wait to introduce you to Evangeline next year!
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 We recently were blessed again by another baby shower. This time we knew that our baby was a girl, so we had a registry at last! (although we dragged our feet on that a bit... I think I felt overwhelmed picking out everything we need for a baby... how does one do that?!) My sisters and Aunt Tammy hosted, and many friends and family were there to celebrate this new life and shower us with gifts! My mom and Suzanne even made it up from Florida, thanks to theirs and my Dad's dedication. That was a very special blessing of itself. Crystal and daughter, Kaylee, spent the majority of the week preceding the shower with us in our home, and that was one of the best visits we have had! We had the best time.

We received so many wonderful gifts, and had many laughs. I had lots of cider and I felt like I could have eaten the entire array of food I was that hungry. Denise made these amazing s'mores cupcakes and I just had to break my sugar-fast for them. I should have taken a close-up of them but I didn't take many photos. I just enjoyed spending time with everyone there.

Crystal and Haley are both pregnant (Jan and Apr due dates, respectively), so we had some pregnancy photo shots taken of us and our growing bellies (although they weren't showing much yet). By Christmastime we will all be showing somewhat, so we will have to get more.

I have yet to finish writing thank-you notes for this last shower, but to all of you who were there, and some of you that couldn't make it, but showered us with gifts anyway: I have every intention of sending words of appreciation your way to let you know how you blessed me and have helped make my pregnancy so special.

One of the neat things about this shower was the amount of children present. It really felt like a baby shower! There were two babies, two toddlers, and quite a few young girls. Three of my nieces are in this picture on the right: Shiona, Scarlett, and Katrina. 

I have just finishing washing all of the clothes, towels, stuffed animals, wraps and whatnot for Eva. It was so fun washing those tiny little outfits! Fred and I were oohing and ahhing over how cute everything was and how tiny she is going to be. Everything smells like baby powder, and we're finishing up the major renovations for her nursery. It's all becoming so real, and I can hardly stand it!

Little Eva, take your time coming until you are fully ready, but when you do come we have so much love we can't wait to show you.

(here are a few more pictures of our time with the Bowmans. Since we were all together we took some family photos)

 These two got engaged right before our trip out there! I've so enjoyed getting to know her better.

 The Bowman siblings

 We, shockingly, didn't have any of "just will" but I think he steals the show in this photo.

He's going to be Eva's big cousin!

 

The whole family!

remnants of summer

Ahhhh… the final scents and nuances of summer are lingering in the air.

I realized I am a bit selfish with summer. This is one of my favorite moments of the season. It’s when most people look away and start to imagine autumn. They notice the falling leaves, changing colors, they push scarves and pumpkin spice lattes a bit early, and they start planning autumn activities.

I do that sometimes (except I admit I have never really liked PSLs). But what I really enjoy is the moments left alone with summer. It’s just us two. I rest in the sun’s rays. I am rejuvenated by the cold splashes in rapidly cooling waters. I like to pretend it’s never going to end, even though I look forward to autumn.

It’s a bit odd perhaps, but I do so enjoy those quiet moments with summer. She’s still here, and she has 11 more days with us. And even when it’s technically autumns time, for a while after there are little slivers of summer hidden throughout the day. You just have to look for it.

The wind is so unique to each season, too. You can smell differences, you can hear them, but you can also simply feel the season in the wind. If you feel the wind today, it’s clearly both parts autumn and summer. It’s crisp and warm. This time should be its own season, albeit a short one. To me though, it’s just my own little season I enjoy alone. And I love that.

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Here are two baby bump pics at week  21 weeks (I am currently 23 weeks):

you might be pregnant if...

Clearly, there are obvious signs of pregnancy, but this list I've compiled is really just a number of realizations that have come to me during pregnancy. I may keep adding to this list, too, because... I've still got a ways to go.

You might be pregnant if...

... your dreams consist of intense make-out sessions with your husband.

... you can handle major things just fine, like no AC in August, but a tone from your husband sends you into tears (I'm not proud of this...)

... you ate three breakfasts and didn't realize it until lunch.

... you randomly find yourself completely confused in regular conversations (but you don't let on, because 'pregnancy brain' can only be used so many times).

... you feel like much of your time is spent in the kitchen in search of food.

... you've unconsciously begun to mark specific times of day by baby's activity.

... you achieve this zen-like acceptance that your pre-pregnancy body may become unrecognizable over time due to; swelling feet and hands, bigger bust and butt, the belly bulge, clothes and styles you didn't normally wear before, a cold-pack strapped to your head for the recurring headaches, and whatever else this pregnancy has in store for you. Am I also going to grow a third arm?

Feel free to add your own revelations! 

the first scents of autumn

Yesterday morning I walked outside and was met with a crisp and cool scent that hung in the air til noon. It was Autumn. She's a little early, but she was just reminding me that it won't be long til pumpkins and apple cider are household scents and the colors of the changing leaves are Nature's newest art show.

I'm not ready for Autumn, but that little glimpse helps me prepare. I still want to soak up the rays of heat from the sun and swim in the pool and go to the beach and do summery things. But that small reminder was sweet, because when this beautiful and hot season ends, another beautiful season will start.

Home life has been so sweet and gentle lately. Summer has been refreshing, and the newness of life seems to find us at every corner with a sweet surprise.

Fred and I are having a baby girl. This is our sweetest surprise of late.

I always thought of Autumn as a more feminine season because of its beauty and attention to detail. This new discovery seems apropos with our transition to a new season for some reason, as silly as it may sound.

Pregnancy is one of the most personal experiences I've ever had, and yet it's shared with soooo many by necessity. I don't really mind most of it, but sometimes I want to just sit there with Fred and feel her movement, so it is just us and our little girl.

Before pregnancy (and early on during the first month or so) I remember thinking "This sounds awful" when I would hear about certain changes. For instance; not sleeping on your back anymore, losing your stomach muscle strength, having to pee all the time, having to go in every month for checkups. Granted, some of that is bothersome a few times, but most of the time I forget about the discomfort when I think about her. If I had her in my arms, I wouldn't think about how much more comfortable I would be if I could rest my arms this way or that. I'd probably be lost in that little face, or at worst, sleeping. So goes my feelings thus far. At the beginning I was uncomfortable, but after seeing her in the ultrasound, and what is more, feeling her movement, it's been very easy to forget whatever comfort I might have had without her.

I feel blissful in the changes that are happening, which is unexpected for me.

hello food, my old friend.

I can eat again! Yay, huzzah, horray and all that jazz. In fact, there are days I forget I'm pregnant. Maybe not the whole day, but definitely for hours on end. The point is, I feel great again!

And with that great relief, I now can delve into the complications of my dealings with pregnancy in the age of technology. First of all, I'm thankful for the wonderful advancements in science, our better understanding of pregnancy and how it affects our bodies, and what can help or harm you or the baby.

But then... there's this vast mountain of information that, when all is said and done, we aren't quite sure if it's this way or that way, or if you should take this or that, or not do this, or definitely do that. I say 'we' as a society, but when you go down those paths you will find those who will stake their lives on one side or the other.

And that, my friends, is the dilemma. If you are one who relishes the thought of research, endless checklists, planning ahead to the last detail, then you cannot possibly understand why I'm sitting here, avoiding all possible articles that might lead me down a trail of endless reading and fact checking and researching. You might even think to yourself that I'm careless not to. In all fairness, sometimes it might be careless. But what it really boils down to is this: I haaaaaaaaate stress. I hate it so much. I hate how I let it affect my mood and actions towards others. I hate how it makes something I might never have thought anything of is suddenly the biggest challenge I'm facing. I hate what it does physically to your body. It's just nasty stuff. And I have realized that planning that far ahead, with that many details, and to that fine of a point can stress me out.

I didn't really know that about myself, but God did when He brought Fred and I together. Fred basically doesn't stress... almost ever. I mean, put him in a downtown traffic jam during rush hour and that is the most stressed you will ever see him. (this is so calloused, but it makes me laugh to see him like that... probably because it's rare, so I don't even know what to do with him)
*Side note: I loooove planning events, though, so planning the labor will be fun. It's just all the "will you swaddle/breastfeed/cosleep/vaccinate/bank cord blood/circumcise/cloth diaper/only use certain cleaning products/schedule naps/schedule eating/schedule play dates/do this method/raise them on this principle" etc etc can be quite overwhelming when you are still trying to figure out why pizza tastes soooooo good when you used to hate it (unless it's Chicago style.. I mean, come on).

What I do like to do is make a rough sketch of expectations. I find myself ending a lot of plans with, "and we'll go from there..." or "and we'll see how we feel after that." I like multiple options because I don't know how things will be at the time. I dislike packing for a trip, and the shorter the trip the harder it is, because you really should be able to choose a specific number of outfits. I just can't. What if that shirt is just wrong that day? And that dress is only comfortable on a slightly cool day. If there's a breeze I might want this sweater, but that might be too heavy if the sun is out.

You get the picture.

That said, I love it when people tell me what has helped them. It's personal testimony. I love hearing ideas and examples from others. Granted I may choose a different choice than yours, but it is nice not to hear just one side of things.

Ok, while we're on this topic I have these apps. I've mentioned them before. Well, I started feeling pretty good about what I was getting accomplished and how I was starting to get into a more regular and challenging workout, so I started to read them again. Wrong. The first article I read said, "Now that your nursery is painted and decorated, it's time to start thinking about furniture!"

What are they on?! Did I download the app for Superwoman's pregnancy? I mean... who has their nursery ready when they're barely four months preggo?

Speaking of how far along I am... here's another photo (although it was taken a week ago, there has not been too much change).

When life gives you The Lorax...

...make pancakes. 

In passing I mentioned to Fred how I would like to watch The Lorax but I had lost the movie. I left the room not thinking a thing about it, and minutes later heard the sound of the movie playing! I ran back in and hugged Fred almost in tears (hormones...). He bought it online for me. This was the other night, and I've watched it three times since, so... money well spent, time well wasted? 

But if you've seen The Lorax, you know the most compatible foods are marshmallows and pancakes, so that's what I had.

Anyway, Fred is sweet... 

and so are pancakes.

Also I'm hungry.

i'd like to thank you

As morning sickness takes an exit from the stage that is my life, I have taken some time to fondly remember and thank the things in my life that got me through those dark, dizzying, gloomy days.

• cereal - specifically Puffins and Cheerios. Where would my stomach have been without you? You made it possible for me to look my husband in the eye and say, 'Yes. I have eaten today.' For that, I thank you.
• Gardettos - that one awful night I had to visit the birthing center during a strong wave of nausea that never left, you were my consolation. I still remember how salty and crunchy you were, when everything else felt mushy and warm.
• fuzzy white blanket - those nights I crawled into bed shivering uncontrollably, knowing in a few minutes I would feel overheated, you moderated my temperature like no other blanket could. 
• Curious George - where do I start? Even before pregnancy you were the only thing that took my mind off nausea during sickness. Those hours of bed-ridden vertigo would have been even more bleak without your innocuous little episodes of calming sounds and soothing pictures.
• comfy pants - I love you. 
• Perrier Lime water and Tummy Drops - you two were one of the only reliefs from nausea I ever experienced. 
• Granny Smith apples - you darling granny. On average I would eat about 3-4 of these apples a day. They were the other nausea reliever I found. I will always look at green apples fondly.
• Couch - my dear friend. We have grown closer together these past few weeks, haven't we? I think you've become a part of me... I'm not proud to say this, but if a pie chart for my time spent during this first trimester were made, and the color blue was used for 'time spent on couch', I would basically have a blue pie chart.
• water - helloooooo beautiful. You are always welcome in my life - in any form. Drinking water, pools, oceans, ice cubes, sprinklers, what have you. The fact that I was nauseous the entire ride up to the waterpark, downed a sub in the car while sick, and didn't even care says a lot about your powers over me.
• cold packs - My Excedrin in gelatinous form. Even sans pregnancy, I don't really like the thought of taking medicine for a headache, unless absolutely necessary. Being pregnant, my options are severely limited and I'd rather not mess with it at all if I don't have to. Cold packs have been the #1 relief for my headaches. There were times I had two in rotation for hours until, a) I could fall asleep, or b) the headache went away. But having that cold pack on my forehead was a sweet, sweet solace.

Although a bit tongue-in-cheek, these were great reliefs to me at some point. In my most genuine moments of thankfulness, I think of Fred and all that he has done. Now it's time to celebrate! And also...to get back to work. Every day I feel well I want to use it to bring my outdoors and indoors back into order. De-cluttering and weeding are my biggest jobs staring me in the face, but I'm really enjoying having the energy to tackle them. 

And here's a baby bump photo.